Probably repetition – things repeat themselves without any changes.
When I was still in HCMC back then, I constantly changed jobs, 4 companies in 5 years. Well it sounds wrong but I always knew I can’t stick one place for so long, part of the reason is that I know I’m still young and there are plenty of things to try out. I felt the urge of newness here and there – New hairstyle after a couple of months, went to new places every year, met as much of new people as I can. I feel like I constantly in search something new that excites me. I still remember those days when I ran out of things to do, or money to do the things I want, so I just laid there on my bed looking at the ceiling feeling this nervousness eating me inside out – my life is so boring, I am boring, what do I do next? That feeling wasn’t easy to handle.
I decided to move to KL for that simple reason. I felt bored. I wanted to leave the city. The unknown was scary, yet damn exciting. The struggles were real in the new country when you don’t really have the citizen benefits, I always feel out of place, I don’t belong to anywhere, not in my own country, and obviously not in the new country. But, again, the unknown kept me going. I felt this strong power that I can, finally, have the chance to build and lead something my way. I can fix things and make things better. I celebrate (with myself) improvement and changes everyday, like my whole life depends on it.
And yes, my life depends on that kind of belief – that I can create changes and my life doesn’t repeat itself.
If someone asked me what I’m passionate about, I’d say “changes” or better word – “improvements” – I’m better today than I was yesterday – and I will thrive every single day for that.
Onwards and upwards,