The past 2 years have been real a adventure. I’ve had 4 jobs, made 18 trips, moved 3 times in the span of 24 months. I barely remember how time flied that quickly, I was always on the move.
20 years ago I probably was sitting under the longan tree playing with grass waiting for my cousin to pick fresh laid chicken eggs. 5 years ago I was a fresh grad, struggling for a job and fighting for who I wanted to be. 2 years ago, I doubted the decisions I’ve made, I questioned myself on my life purpose. Now I’m in another country far away from my little home town, sitting in a high rise of a big business complex where memories of chicken farm and longan trees seems vague and distant.
Time flies. I’ve gone so far. What’s next?
The fact of me taking risks brings me far in life, at least further than what a 7 year old girl in the chicken farm could imagine. I never question my resilience and ability to learn to adapt. Yet I get scared recently when I wake up. The sense of belonging strikes harder than before. I doubt my existence, and what I call mine.
I’m determined. My mind hardly switches off when I set it up for something. I’m good at short term goals. Yet I realised what I lack of is a bit of patience and a lot of discipline. The more I live the bigger challenge I face and the greater courage it takes. Life goal now isn’t getting a job or buying a new phone, and is less of the tangibles. Making changes, being influential, making mental and physical wellness affordable, sense of achieving and ultimately, peace in mind — those cannot be achieved within a short period of time. Being constantly on the move doesn’t help. Being spontaneous doesn’t help. Being easy to myself is definitely not going to help.
Moving forward to the new year, I expect no great achievement, no big adventure but the ability to settle my focus to the bigger goal, work hard with discipline and determination towards a better future.
And as always, a little of faith helps.
2017, you’re now welcome.